Flying cross-country with a toddler, or when NOT to go direct
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Just before boarding our first international flight with Luca in 2017. He slept a grand total of 3 hours between New York and Milan.
When it comes to coasts, West might be best, but when it comes to adjusting your toddler’s sleep times, traveling in a westerly direction actually sucks. This is because instead of letting them stay up way late as you can do with a trip to Europe, when you travel westward you have to push them to stay awake well past their physical and emotional comfort zone. My advice is not to belabor the point--rip that schedule change like a bandaid and get them to fall in line as quickly as humanly possible.
How to adjust toddler sleep from Eastern Standard to Pacific Coast Time (or similar)
Our transition looked like this:
On Day 1, Luca slept a normal schedule at home, 8 pm-6 am with a 2-hour nap in the afternoon. That afternoon we left on a 4:30 pm flight (one layover in Minneapolis) that arrived in Portland at 9:30 pm (which equals 12:30 am on East Coast time). Per usual, Luca stayed awake during both flights. We put him down as soon as possible that night, around 10:30 pm when we arrived at our AirBnb. So that night he slept 10:30 pm-5 am PCT, with a wake up at 3 am (6 am for him--wake up time!). As you can imagine, Day 2 was rough for a toddler on only 7.5 hours of nighttime sleep. He took a 2-hour nap at 11am, woke up screaming, and we pushed on from there.
Over the course of about 3 days, I gradually got his nap from 11 am to noon to 1pm. His bedtime also shifted from 7 pm to a more normal 8 pm. In less than a week, he’s now on a pretty good Pacific Coast Time schedule--8/8:30 pm to 6/6:30 am overnight, and a 12:30/1 pm nap routine. Don’t get me wrong--he’s still doing funny things like trying to fall asleep in the stroller at 10 am (since that’s his 1 pm nap time back home)--and his attitude hasn’t always been the greatest during this shift. But all in all, it has been pretty successful, which is a win for a challenging sleeper.
Which brings me back to the title of this post, and why we opted against the direct flight. On most occasions, I tend to think it best to get where you’re going as quickly as possible with a toddler, minimizing layovers. But for us the only available direct flight was a 6 am on Frontier, which would have arrived in Portland around 9 am. This did not appeal for a variety of reasons. First, we moved out and settled on our house in the two days preceding our journey--which meant we were super exhausted already and not really game for a 4 am airport arrival. Second, I had a gut feeling Luca would do better at this age (2.5 years) on two shorter flights with a layover to run around in between them.
That theory actually worked very well. He was antsy toward the end of each flight, right about when we were landing. And we found a great play area in the MSP airport (terminal 1) for him to blow off steam between flights. On the second flight, when he was up well past his bedtime, he discovered the novelty of his very own “watch screen” and watched a million episodes of Doc McStuffins. Moderation does not apply to airplanes.
Had we taken the earlier, direct flight, we would have arrived very early in the morning and would have struggled to keep him awake to a reasonable nap and bedtime. Getting in so late did half the job for us.
Testing out a new toy en route from Philadelphia to Portland.
Essential carry-on packing list for flying with a toddler:
Diapers/wipes (duh).
Dollar store toys. Novelty and size are key here. Toddlers like small toys, particularly those that need to be unwrapped. Ours included toy cars, key chains, wind up toys, colorful erasers, post-it notes shaped like cats, mini slinkies, tiny barnyard animals, a small connect four game, pen with multi-colored ink, plastic dinosaurs, etc. I don’t pay much attention to age recommendations on toys (especially since he no longer puts things in his mouth) and just go for the things that I know he will like.
Stickers or washi tape.
Coloring book/crayons. Pens or markers for the brave.
Clay!
Snacks/drinks. We brought Nibbly Fingers (available at Whole Foods--I find these disgusting, but Luca loves them), peanut butter sandwiches, turkey and cheese sandwiches, dried fruit and nut mix, bananas, and brownies.
Change of clothes for both/all of you. This is a tip I picked up from a cousin who spent a cross-country flight covered in her child’s vomit. Don’t let this be you.
Liquid motrin, benadryl, and other meds. Illness and allergic reaction can come on suddenly. Be prepared.
Vaseline or diaper cream. There is something about travel that spells diaper rash.
Device with downloads. Why chance it with wifi? Download a few episodes of Daniel Tiger, Stinky & Dirty or Doc McStuffins before you even leave the house. Even now, Luca will still gaze mesmerized at a Baby Einstein video for at least 20 minutes. That’s 20 minutes you can watch your own show.
Toddler-friendly headphones. I like Snug Play+ available on amazon.
A CARES harness (unless you have a car seat with you).
